Ice Breaker

There is good ice-breaking...and bad ice-breaking.

Bad ice-breaking.

Average temperatures in the Arctic region are rising twice as fast as they are elsewhere in the world. Arctic ice is getting thinner, melting and rupturing. For example, the largest single block of ice in the Arctic, the Ward Hunt Ice Shelf, had been around for 3,000 years before it started cracking in 2000. Within two years it had split all the way through and is now breaking into pieces.

Good ice-breaking

Have you ever been in a social situation, conversation with a client, or a sales cold call...where the the social interaction and exchange of words...is completely rote and devoid of emotion or meaning? "Hi...Howsitgoing?...Hotenoughforyou?...Nice!...Seeyouaround"

This is  even smaller than smalltalk...it's minuscule talk, and a guaranteed way to NOT build rapport. How to get around this? Here are some tips for conversation starters from an article by Michael E. Rega, in the June 2006 issue of The American Salesman.

1. Shared hobby or interest. This may seem obvious,  yet the key is to find a shared hobby or interest. For example, I hate golf. For me, golf is not a shared interest with anyone. Therefore, to ask someone "How you hittin' them?" is a shallow attempt on my part.
2. Deserved compliment. A sincere, deserved compliment is always well-received...and can go a long way in getting attention.
3. Common background. Common acquaintances or history are one of the easiest ways  to get things going. For example, I'm a native San Franciscan...although I have since moved away from The City. Whenever I mention that I'm from San Francisco, a conversation will follow...guaranteed.
4. Astute general comment. This might be a comment about current events, or something that you just saw in the lobby, or something different entirely. However, the central purpose is to communicate on a conscious level (viz-a-viz subconscious), and pique the other person's interest so the focus is on your astute powers of observation.

Above all else, these rapport-building techniques must be natural, and suit your own voice and personality. Building rapport can often be a delicate balance. On the one hand, you want to go beyond the superficial...yet you don't want to be blatantly smarmy either.

Use these ice-breaking tips to find the right balance.

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